Spiritual aspects

Uncovering the potential spiritual sources

Look for common, garden-variety sins such as men-fearing, perfectionism, and works righteousness. It is no accident that most people who struggle with these conditions are driven people who regularly function under high levels of self-pressure.

Spiritual sources to consider:

1. Works righteousness or perfectionism. It is possible the person drives herself relentlessly because she feels she must impress God, making herself acceptable to Him by means of her achievements in the workplace or her family, rather than trusting in the completed work of Christ. Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ … (Romans 5:1)
2. Men-fearing. Does the counselee’s driven mentality arise from men-fearing? Has her insatiable, idolatrous desire for the approval of others pushed her to unhealthy levels of physical and emotional stress? The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted. (Proverbs 29:25) In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life … (Proverbs 14:26-27)
3. Success-driven living. Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and turmoil with it. (Proverbs 15:16) For what does a man get in all his labor and in his striving with which he labors under the sun? Because all his days his task is painful and grievous; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is vanity. (Ecclesiastes 2:22-23)

Summary: Whom are they trying to please?

• self (success-driven living)
• others (men-fearing)
• God—inappropriately (a wrong view of justification)
• God—appropriately (out of love, fully understanding their standing in Christ)

4. A lack of godly enjoyment in daily tasks. I have seen that nothing is better than that man should be happy in his activities, for that is his lot. For who will bring him to see what will occur after him? (Ecclesiastes 3:22) Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward …. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart. (Ecclesiastes 5:18, 20) Point: God is glorified not only in the diligent execution of our duties, but in our enjoyment of them as well. Enjoyment provides a biblical balance to a strong sense of responsibility, duty, and obligation.
5. Proud refusal to rest when sick or run-down. The apostles gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves. (Mark 6:30-32) One handful of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind. (Ecclesiastes 4:6)
6. Views God as an unpleasable tyrant. Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works. (Ecclesiastes 9:7)

Helping the person cope victoriously

Nine key principles:

1. God’s sovereignty. God is sovereign over sickness, both its onset and removal. In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider—God has made the one as well as the other so that man will not discover anything that will be after him. (Ecclesiastes 7:14) The LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? (Exodus 4:11)
2. God’s support. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
3. Unbiblical expectations. Because this is a sin-cursed world, physical sickness is “normal.” In a sense, it is more expected than physical health. Now as for me, I said in my prosperity, “I will never be moved.” (Psalm 30:6) It is a grievous task which God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with. (Ecclesiastes 1:13)
4. Eternal perspective. Hope is kept alive by remembering the fact that God will relieve all painful or disabling physical conditions in heaven. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2) He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new” … (Revelation 21:4-5)
5. Thankfulness. In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Comment: Initially, the person may find it difficult to be thankful for his symptoms. However, the person can start by thankfully embracing what God is teaching him through his pain or exhaustion. That gets the thankfulness juices flowing.
6. Cheerful attitude. All the days of the afflicted are bad, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast. (Proverbs 15:15) A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
7. A humble acceptance of help from others. Peter said to Him, “Never shall You wash my feet!” (John 13:8) … clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5) The driven person is used to being self-sufficient, and in fact, probably takes pride in not needing others’ assistance. Such a person will need help to become easy to help—receiving assistance from people around her for daily tasks she used to do for herself.
8. A condition-sensitive schedule.
9. My weakness demonstrates Christ’s strength: And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) Penny: Knowing that they can honour God and praise Him even when they have genuine physical restrictions can be greatly encouraging for those who are genuinely ill and who desperately don’t want to be. MacArthur: When God declared to Paul in answer to his prayer, “My grace is sufficient for you,” He affirmed the total sufficiency of His grace for every need in life—to believe the gospel; to understand and apply the Word to all the issues of life; to overcome sin and temptation; to endure suffering, disappointment, and pain; to obey God; to serve Him effectively; and to worship Him. God’s grace was sufficient for the deepest pain Paul could ever experience. Point: God uses physical weakness to burn away pride and self-confidence; therefore, I can be content with weaknesses, for when I am weak, He is strong.

Family and friends will need encouragement to be patient and supportive in these situations. It is typical for people’s initial sympathy and support to leak away over time as they grow frustrated with the counselee’s inability to carry out ordinary daily tasks without any “real” medical reasons for his or her limitations.

Patient, gentle, sustained servanthood is the key, and friends and family will usually require some instruction and encouragement to stay the course.

Bizarre Behaviour

Typical sources of bizarre behaviour

1. Organic causes. Sudden and dramatic changes in mental ability, emotions, or behaviour might have organic causes, such as a brain tumour, hormonal changes, illegal drug use, or an adverse reaction to medicine. When facing bizarre behaviour, always recommend a full physical examination by a competent doctor or neurosurgeon.
2. Demonic activity. There is no biblical evidence that a true believer can be demon possessed. However, it is quite possible for a professing believer (meaning one who is not genuinely saved) to be demonised. A person who is manifesting demonic possession should be dealt with by a clear explanation of the gospel and a call to repentance and faith in Christ. The gospel is the power of God for salvation: it is able to deal with all heart problems, including demon possession (Rom 1:16). Avoid occult-like techniques, such as praying “magical” phrases over the person, striking the person, or conversing with the demon.
3. Sin and guilt. Sin and unresolved guilt can lead to bizarre or extreme behaviour such as Nebuchadnezzar’s temporary insanity (Dan 4:28-33) and Judas’ suicide (Mat 27:35). When a person’s perceived resources have been exhausted, fear can produce emotional paralysis or a refusal to respond to external stimuli. In short, bizarre behaviour is often motivated by ordinary sins. To help the person, don’t focus on the unusual; focus on the ordinary.
4. Faking. In some cases, bizarre behaviour is nothing more than playacting—the last ditch effort of a person desperately trying to avoid responsibility for his or her actions (1 Sam 21:10–15).

Observe the person, talk to friends and family, and then decide which option best fits the presentation data, and address the person accordingly. Always assume that the person is able to understand you. If he can’t, then you can’t help him. But the fact is, he probably can understand you, and by addressing his problem in a firm, gracious, biblical way, you will provide hope of real change.