How we use our tongue is a reflection of what is in our hearts (Matthew 12:33-35). We are always to remember the great power of the tongue to inflict harm (James 3:2-7).
Biblical Communication and Listening
At the heart of Biblical Communication is Biblical listening (James 1:19). To listen Biblically means to:
- Concentrate on what is said, without forming conclusions before you have heard everything, without interrupting the other person (Proverbs 18:13).
- Do not assume or interpret beyond what has been said; if needs be, ask questions to clarify meaning (Proverbs 15:28).
- Be aware of how body language is a form of listening.
Controlling the Tongue
To communicate biblically, there must be a desire to control the tongue (Proverbs 21:23).
Truthfulness of a Godly Tongue
A controlled godly tongue is firstly truthful (Proverbs 12:22).
Forms of lying include:
- Outright lie
- Half-truth (e.g., Abraham)
- Evading the truth (e.g., Cain)
- Exaggerating (‘always’, ‘all the time’, ‘never’ etc.)
- Flattery (Proverbs 28:23)
A truthful tongue will speak the truth in love (Proverbs 27:5-6).
Helpful Speech
A controlled godly tongue is also helpful. It builds and edifies (Colossians 4:6).
Destructive speaking is:
- Piercing (Proverbs 12:18)
- Harsh and reactive (Proverbs 15:1)
A helpful tongue measures the choice of words and the tone of voice to see if it will have a helpful effect.
Purity of Speech
A controlled, godly tongue is also pure.
Defiling speech includes:
- Lewd talk, filthy innuendo (Ephesians 5:3-4)
- Gossip (Proverbs 11:13)
- Murmuring (Philippians 2:14-15)
- Swearing oaths frivolously (Matthew 5:37)
- Insults (Matthew 5:22)
- Blasphemy (Exodus 20:7)
- Nagging (Proverbs 27:15)
Pure words are filled with thankfulness (Ephesians 5:4).
Practical Tips
- Put a premium on your words (Proverbs 10:19).
- Think before you speak (Proverbs 15:28).
- Consider not only what you say but when you say it (Proverbs 15:23).