Proverbs on Communication

1. Godly Speech finds its foundation in a desire to please the Lord and control the tongue (Proverbs 8:13, 13:3, 21:23, Psalm 141:3)
2. Godly speech is worth much (10:20, 20:15)
3. Godly speech feeds others and self (10:11, 21, 18:20)

Godly Communication is not only what we say. It depends very much on how we listen.

• a) Active listening means concentrating on what someone is saying (Proverbs 18:13). Do not formulate answers, conclusions or notions before a person is finished speaking.
• b) Everyone considers the view he knows first (including his own views) to be the correct one. Listening is being open to having that view corrected (18:17).
• c) Consider and weigh up what is being said (Proverbs 15:28). Ask questions to clarify meaning. If you are able to recite back to another person their views in a way they would agree with, you have been listening.
• d) Limit how much you speak (Proverbs 17:27-28). Interrupting is the fastest method for destroying communication.
• e) Use “listening” body language. Avoid: sighing, snorting, rolling the eyes, looking amazed or disgusted, folding the arms, hand gestures, facial expressions, posture, shaking the head to show disagreement.
• f) Exceptions to listening: 17:4, 20:19.

Aspects of healthy, biblical communication:

A. It is truthful (Proverbs 4:24, 14:5, Proverbs 6:16-17; 12:22)

Forms of lying:

• Outright lie
• Half-truth (e.g. Abraham)
• Evading the truth (e.g. Cain)
• Exaggerating (‘always’, ‘all the time’, ‘never’ etc.)
• Flattery

Lies display a self-centred hatred of others (26:28). Conversely, truthfulness is rooted in love for God and others (Eph 4:15).

B. It is edifying

• i) It is solution-oriented, therefore it does not delight in gossip (Proverbs 11:13, 26:22)
• ii) It restrains itself to deal with problems, it does not react to break down people (Proverbs 10:12, 15:1)
• iii) It is measured, so as to always build (Proverbs 12:18)